if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
