Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My vagina is officially offended.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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