Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
