is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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