If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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