Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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