I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
