I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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