he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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