I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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