But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
