Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
