How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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