OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A+ Viking dick
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
