Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I want to be your penis for a week.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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