just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
