why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
