True but thats because hes a fetus.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
