It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
did i walk over a car last night?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
