So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
