there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
