Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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