school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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