And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
