; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
