I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
