Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
