I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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