Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
