her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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