Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
