Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
