she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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