is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
