We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
