She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
