did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
