thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
