he thought i was a dude.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
