So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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