I am spending my child support on dildos
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
