He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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