It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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