What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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