what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
