I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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