You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
