I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
