At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
