I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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