I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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