So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
